Whenever I hear some straight guy going on about how some gay guy better not make a pass I think, bless your heart. When an ugly woman makes a pass at these men, they don’t go screaming into the night “An ugly girl made a pass at me! She must think I’m an ugly girl! Now everyone will think I’m an ugly girl! I’ll kill her!”
Even the worst straight men are usually human enough to make an excuse about dating someone else to a woman. Why not extend that to the rest of the human race? When I hear these straight men complain, I think “Take the compliment. The day will come when nobody thinks you’re cute, so save it for a rainy day. If both men and women think you’re cute, consider yourself lucky.”
Say “thank you,” and then make the civilized excuse.
Many of us gay men have said it to women who’ve mistaken us for straight. I say “thank you,” once I said, “Thank you, I’m gay, but that’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me all week.” And I didn’t go screaming into the night, “She thinks I’m straight! Did my deodorant fail? Am I stupid? Have I got back hair? Is something hanging out of my nose? I’ll kill her!”
Someone mistaking you for attractive is not an insult. Say “thank you.”