Inspirational Speech #0

I want to tell you a story about [insert person] who, as a child, [insert hardship].

Growing up, [an official authoritarian figure] said [something negative] about the outcome of this person’s life.  Optional:  But [insert name of person who has to love afore-mentioned person] said [don’t give up and/or dream].

But [perseverance example] and today [famous person]!

◊     ◊     ◊

So some years ago, I’m in the hospital at age 43 with a foot-long scar from heart surgery and a distant cousin sends word of an inspirational story.  Somebody (just my age!) had (just what I had!) and today he’s (rich with a huge penis!)

And I’m finding out I have to take nine pills a day for the rest of my life and can only go “one” on the treadmill right now and I think:

Eff you.

It was the first time I laughed after heart surgery.  So — thanks.